Yes, the black and white works! Dramatic, dark and high contrast are the way to go here just make sure you do not clip your highlights when you convert. This version looks a bit light to me but may be related to other variables(ie my screen, jpg conversion). By all means shoot more of this since you obviously have an eye for it." "Seeing" abstract compositions will make all other types of your photography stronger.
All Best!
this is very cool in black & white
All Best!